Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, CUNTFLAPS! WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID MY YMCA HAD ONE OF THESE FUCKERS. KIDS LITERALLY HAD TO BE TIMED SO THEY DIDN’T TEAR EACHOTHER’S PRE-PUBESCENT DICKS OFF FIGHTING OVER THIS SHIT. FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES YOU WERE QUEEN BITCH AND EVERYONE ELSE WERE PLASTIC CHAIRLESS SCUM MOTHERDICKER, IT GOT SO UGLY THAT SOMEONE GOT BANNED FOR FIGHING OVER IT SO THEY SNUCK IN DURING RECESS AND STABBED IT TO DEATH. THEY MASSACRED AN INFLATABLE SEATING OBJECT BECAUSE THEY COULD NO LONGER SIT IN IT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. SHITS FUCKED UPI’M FUCKED UP
People are asking me if I was the one who stabbed it to death
Keep your snoopin heads out of shit you can’t handle
At dinner my family and I were watching TV and there was a guy on it and I was like “I know him from somewhere!” and I couldn’t figure out where I knew him from and then it that said he was a gay porn star and dinner suddenly became very awkward.